Over the past two days, I have been victim to verbal attacks by peoples who don't like dogs. I did nothing to deserve these attacks. I was merely minding my own business, being cute and friendly.
The first incident happened just at the edge of dog beach, an off-leash park where dogs are allowed to frolic and swim. I was drying myself off in the grass when a mean man ran by and yelled at my friends "That thing should be on a leash!" Fortunately, my friends are witty and yelled back "Your short-shorts should be on a leash!" I would have added "That fugly piece of hair above your lip should be on a leash, buddy!" but I was too hurt by the rudeness of the runner. I really shouldn't use the word "runner" to describe this stringbean of a man. What he was doing appeared to be more like a cat hobbling on a fence. I hope he stepped in poop.
The second incident happened at a car dealership today. My friend took his new car in for a tune up and I kept him company. We were waiting outside, reading the paper, when a mechanic walked by and hissed at me "Dog are against my religion!" What religion are you in? The only religion I know of that is against dogs are the Pussies. As in Cats. And even they're making great strides towards tolerance. You realize that Dog is God backwards. Us dogs are closer to spiritual connection than this twit of a mechanic will ever be. I complained about the mechanic to the manager of the dealership, and he agreed that the mechanic is a twit, but apparently he can fix a car better than a cat.
