A prayer from a dog

I didn't make this up. A friendly Rottweiler told me it at Dog Beach other day. (Yes, there are some friendly Rottweilers, don't be a bigot!)

TO GOD - FROM THE DOG:

Dear God: Why do humans smell the flowers, but seldom, if ever, smell one another?

Dear God: When we get to heaven, can we sit on your couch? Or is it still the same old story?

Dear God: Why are there cars named after the jaguar, cougar, the mustang, the colt, the stingray, and the rabbit, but not ONE named for a dog? How often do you see a jaguar riding around? We do love a nice ride! Would it be so hard to rename the "Chrysler Eagle" the "Chrysler Beagle"?

Dear God: If a dog barks his head off in the forest and no human hears him, is she still a bad dog?

Dear God: We dogs can understand human verbal instructions, hand signals, whistles, horns, clickers, beepers, scent ID's, electromagnetic energy fields, and Frisbee flight paths. What do humans understand?

Dear God: Let me give you a list of just some of the things I must remember to be a good dog:
1. I will not roll on dead seagulls, fish, crabs, etc., just because I like the way they smell.
2. The sofa is not a 'face towel'
3. The garbage collector is not stealing our stuff.
4. My head does not belong in the refrigerator.
5. Sticking my nose into someone's crotch is an unacceptable way of saying "hello"
6. I don't need to suddenly stand straight up when I'm under the coffee table.
7. I must shake the rain water out of my fur before entering the house - not after.
8. I will not throw up in the car.
9. I will not come in from outside and immediately drag my butt.
10. I will not sit in the middle of the living room and lick my crotch when we have company.