my hot tryst with Colin Farrell

Everyone keeps saying to me "Lucky, I heard about your wild weekend at the Plaza Hotel with Colin Farrell." And to that I say "Eiraaaaaaw!!" Well, that's what I say to pretty much everything because I often try to bark and yawn at the same time. But for the record and to please my representatives, I have to affirm that I was not at the Plaza Hotel this past weekend cavorting with Colin Farrell. That was Lindsay Lohan. Yes, I do realize that Lindsay and I do look a lot alike, admittedly not as much as Ashlee Simpson looks like me (Ashlee and I even have the same haircut) and we both like drinking a lot of Red Bull. But come on, Lindsay's belly is nowhere near as wonderful to rub as mine. Look at her belly and now look at my belly. Now admit it, you want to pet my belly.